I have had this phrase rolling around in my head now for over a decade: aikidoThe word "Aikido" is made up of three japanese characters: ai - harmony, ki - spirit, mind, or universal energy, do - the way. Thus Aikido is "the way of harmony with universal energy." is for life. At first glance it seems contradictory. Aikido is a martial art and that means physical conflict to me. Given that we live in an advanced society that frowns on resolving personal differences through physical confrontation, the contradiction comes into focus. How can I apply a method of resolving physical conflict (aikido) in a world where physical conflict is rare?

During the course of our lives, everyone is bound to experience failure.      When we are infants, these failures are valuable learning experiences. We learn to walk, talk, and behave by watching adults and imitating them. Of course what works for the adult is not directly applicable by the infant. Trying many different behaviors, failures mount. Finally, the lessons taken from these failures become something more than the sum of their parts; they draw together into a body of experience which we can then apply to tackle even bigger challenges.

Somewhere along the line, however, we learn that failure at these bigger challenges can carry negative consequences╔    and not just for ourselves. These negative consequences can impact other people in our lives and ripple both outward into their lives and inward back into ours (miss a goal to lose the big game or run a stop sign, causing an accident). The more we experience failure and negative consequences, the more we seek to avoid them. This is the state of being that I recall most vividly in my life: fear of the negative consequences of my choices/actions and the regret that follows. Once I told myself I was not going to regret my choices anymore, so I began telling lies (mostly to myself) to avoid the responsibility of making choices I thought might carry the stigma of failure. It worked in its own way. I functioned in the world and even began creating some modest success in my life. No one could assail me in the fortress I had constructed. No one could really meet me either.

This is why aikidoThe word "Aikido" is made up of three japanese characters: ai - harmony, ki - spirit, mind, or universal energy, do - the way. Thus Aikido is "the way of harmony with universal energy." is for life╔ to practice remembering what it was like when I was so new to this world that I didn’t know enough to be afraid of failure or the judgment of others. When the threat of failure appears on the horizon (an aikido test, public speaking for work, or any other situation in which my actions/behavior are scrutinized), I reach for the same tools honed to precision taking ukemiThe art of receiving or taking actions as uke, falling during a demonstration, counting my breaths during zazenMeditation posture and exercise, or meeting a visitor to the dojoPlace of the way; a place for strengthening and refinement body, mind and spirit; training hall.

You can leave aikido in the dojo if you want. It will still work and you may even experience some success. It isn’t easy to come out of our personal fortresses and expose ourselves with all the warts and scars we’ve gathered along the way. Others may take advantage of us. SenseiTeacher; anyone who gives guidance along the way; literally "born before" says when we come to the mat we try to present ourselves. It takes courage to really present yourself.

Maybe the fear and anxiety we face in the dojo isn’t any different from the fear and anxiety we avoid in our everyday lives. Maybe the failures we experience and the courage we nurture on the mat can help us tackle bigger challenges. Maybe you can come out of your fortress and I can come out of my fortress and we can practice presenting ourselves to each other on the mat, so that when we go out into the world we can really present ourselves there too. Onegaishimasu.