When I started aikidoThe word "Aikido" is made up of three japanese characters: ai - harmony, ki - spirit, mind, or universal energy, do - the way. Thus Aikido is "the way of harmony with universal energy." it was for all the wrong reasons.

My best friend was doing it; I wanted to get in shape, and to be the cool chick that could really kick some butt. I quickly learned that I found something even better something that would help me blossom as a person.  A year and 4 months later I realize that aikidoThe word "Aikido" is made up of three japanese characters: ai - harmony, ki - spirit, mind, or universal energy, do - the way. Thus Aikido is "the way of harmony with universal energy." has not only become a part of my life but a way of life.

As you all know I started my first semester of nursing school and it was definitely a challenge. The time went by so quickly yet so slow. I was used to coming to aikido 4 days a week.  Slowly the number dwindled, as homework and assignments increased. Then clinical started and I was lucky if I even made it to the dojoPlace of the way; a place for strengthening and refinement body, mind and spirit; training hall 2 days a week.

I had an internal struggle happening; not only was I unable to come to the dojo, but I was unable to be surrounded by the people who support me the most. I had to find my balance again. Work, school, sleep, time to eat, and aikido were all that remained.  It wasn’t easy and sometimes I would forget to sleep or skip a meal or end up missing a few days of training.  I knew I had fallen off the radar when my friends and family would call or text me and literally ask “are you still alive?”

Even when I was able to make it to aikido I found it frustrating and hard. My aikido was sloppy, my movements not smooth, things that I had mastered before I could not remember or replicate again. While watching senseiTeacher; anyone who gives guidance along the way; literally "born before" demonstrate the techniques, atelectasis (collapse of the alveoli) would pop into my head and other random medical terms. Thoughts about the pharmacology test I took earlier that day and how the vastus lateralis and dorsal gluteus are both correct IM injections so which one was really the right answer? Next thing I’d know I missed the whole technique.  My head was foggy and my aikido was showing it. I pushed myself to keep going to classes whenever I could.  I knew the answer to my struggles was to “just keep training.” So that is what I did.

Many nights I just wanted to cry because I was so frustrated with myself. I was battling my mind and my physical stamina, which was drained. I know my training isn’t the best when I’m in school. I’ve come across it before just never to the extent that I did this past semester. I tried to stay positive but it wasn’t always there.

Although it was a struggle for me aikido still let me have a few moments for myself during my busy schedule. I have made the decision to go part time starting next semester. To be honest, a large part of that decision other than my own physical and mental health was the fact that I wanted to train more than two days a week.  If I kept in the full time nursing program I would not be able to train at all next semester and I was not okay with that.

My semester is now done (thank god) and I have passed all my classes. I can now have a little bit of downtime to just relax before classes start again in January. I slept a good 12 hours the other day much needed sleep that I had lost over the semester. My energy is slowly returning and hopefully my aikido will improve as well.

I wanted to take a minute to thank everyone for being patient with me and for the sometimes verbal, but mostly the silent support each one of you has given me while I work through my struggles of school and everyday life on and off the mat.

In the past year and a couple of months I have torn down walls that I didn’t even know were standing and I have learned more about myself than I have before. I have gained strength in more ways than one, and I have realized that the reasons I had started aikido are the farthest reasons from why I keep returning.  I am slowly growing and I am hoping to keep blooming until one day I have blossomed into the beautiful person I would like to become.

One summer day a friend once told me, “I think you might like aikido, I think it might do good for you.” he was right and I am so glad I decided to step out of my comfort zone and give aikido a try.  It is truly one of the best gifts I have ever received.  And only now after I take a minute to reflect can I honestly appreciate the dynamic beauty of that which is, AIKIDO.