On Saturdays I see them- a room full of warriors in the dojoPlace of the way; a place for strengthening and refinement body, mind and spirit; training hall, swinging sticks- throwing bodies.  Strong faces determined to train, determined to gain skill and strength.

Yet in the early morning hours in the zendo, there are few to be seen.  Only a handful of students make the effort.  Where are the warriors?  To sit zazenMeditation posture and exercise and to face yourself is the hardest part of training.  To face yourself fully and honestly is the hardest part of life.

Speaking for myself- I often avoid myself, often avoid facing myself on the mat.  There are many things about myself that I don’t like, that I do not want to deal with.  Often lazy and too often selfish.  I would rather sleep than get up early to go to the zendo.  I’d rather distract myself from the realization that I have so much work to do.  When I sit in zazen without distractions I have to come to grips with the truths of my life.  The good, the bad and the ugly.  We are all like that.  I can be nasty, lazy, angry, anxious, fearful- did I mention selfish?  By paying attention I realize what’s good about me as well as what needs improvement.  It’s hard- sometimes I drag myself kicking and screaming to the mat.  As an aikidoThe word "Aikido" is made up of three japanese characters: ai - harmony, ki - spirit, mind, or universal energy, do - the way. Thus Aikido is "the way of harmony with universal energy." student I’m a complete beginner, out-performed by stronger students.  Hey- I’m a skinny Kraut, barely 145 lbs., but I assure you that inside me beats the heart of a Warrior.  I started sitting zazen decades ago and have come to realize that by paying attention and facing myself, I’m slowly growing, slowly improving, slowly maturing.  Did I mention I’m slow?

In focused zazen we face ourselves- lose ourselves and become one with the world.  Peace of mind takes concentrated effort.  Facing yourself is the toughest part of training with the biggest reward.  Lose yourself and gain the universe.  Lose your fears and gain a calm and peaceful mind.  It is difficult to train consistently, but that’s ok.  With me it’s always been two steps forward, one step back.  It’s a process.

We fall-we brush ourselves off- climb back onto the cushion.  Lots of work still to be done!  Lots of room for improvement!

Calling all Warriors!  Show your Face! Show your True Self!

The zendo is open…

Gassho,
Roman