To me, being martial is seeing what needs to be done and taking action.  This sounds easier than it is because the sort of seeing I’m talking about comes from a place of clarity, not clouded by ego, personality, prejudices, etc.  It is not what I think needs to be done, but what needs to be done.

One does not have to train in martial arts to be martial, but training does give us opportunities to see openings and ways of taking action.

This past year I helped take care of my sister during her final days of a battle with breast cancer.  When I arrived, she was still somewhat lucid and asked if I would sleep with her.  She was in a failing marriage and had she not been terminal, they would have divorced.  Impending death does not fix a bad relationship.  I saw in that moment what was being asked of me and I was there without hesitation.  The days that followed were long and difficult.  At first there were visits from friends, but soon it was only hospice and priests who came.  I helped to bathe her, brush her teeth, give her pain medication, massage her arm swollen from lymph edema.

As difficult as the days were, the nights were even harder, longer.  She was restless at night.  There were trips to the bathroom, then the portable commode.  We fell the first night,  I was caught off guard by her weakness and weight.  I helped get her comfortable adjusting pillows, bed, sheets.  Then I rearranged furniture trying to keep her from falling out of bed.  I listened for her requests for help, then I just listened to her breathing, was it strained or pained?  Did she need more pain medication?  Finally I just listened for her breath.  Did it stop?... No there it is.

Hospice has a booklet that describes the final stages of death (life?).  Signs to watch for in the months, weeks, days, hours, minutes and moments before death.  Could it really be so universal?  We watched diligently and noted these changes.  We wondered, was it days, hours or minutes?  Finally, we just waited.  Could this be martial, holding my dying sister’s hand?

I see now that we shared the martial spirit.  She, facing her death with fierce courage and grace.  Me, bravely walking with her as far as I could go.  Oh, what a gift she gave me, to put my years of practice to use.

In Buddhism, the Eight-fold Path speaks of Right View, Right Thought, Right Speech, Right Action, Right Livelihood, Right Effort, Right Mindfulness and Right Concentration.  To me, ‘right’ is not some specific set forth by someone else, but rather our own knowing of what is right through clarity.  Clarity that comes from practicing.  Through training, through sitting.

When someone asks if I have ever had to use my martial skills, they are looking for stories of fighting off parking lot attackers or city street muggers.  Movie scenes  I think, not the mundane reality of having trained oneself daily for years to develop awareness, patience, compassion and the ability to see what needs to be done and do it.